November 02, 2011 journal, life is like a vapor that can disappear suddenly without notice. Life is held together by one single tiny thread that could snap any minute if we lose focus and eat the king's meat. If our chemistry gets out of balance we could be in big trouble. Our brains control our nerves and thus our muscles all need rest, peace, proper nutrition. I am one of 7 billion people in this world and I must thank God for all his personal favors. My family grave plot is filled with my relatives dying from one-year-old to 29 years old. Where will we be another 20 years from now as time marches on to eternity until the day that God through a mighty angel declares Time Shall Be No More in Revelationprophecy. Please pray for my friend Larry Shaw who is dying with colon cancer and chemotherapy. According to a report nearly half the American people suffer from anxiety sleeplessness. I have a continuing thirst and the pressure of my life mistakes seems to be suppressing my heart beat and challenging my life. I know the nervous system is fatal and America today is reported to be about 50% full of anxiety. I have failed my people and myself through my dark side of filthy worldly ungodly lust. I've repented of my sin and seek a closer walk with the Lord Yesu to know him personally. My entire life has come up before me and I see myself as a black sheep Christian. I have let the devil rob me of so many things and put my family in jeopardy while arresting my soul. Now Lord Yesu, deliver me I pray from the guilt I feel with burnings skin and an unquenchable thirst in a troubled sleepless body. Cleanse me Lord I pray and sanctify my body and soul to be saved in all eternity. May I witness the gospel of Christ the Messiah to all the world. I can only see righteousness & holiness to be accepted by God Almighty. I faced a brick wall when I was 15 years old while seeking the baptism of the Holy Spirit not willing to obey God to do simple things so God blocked me off until I surrendered. I had really done no wrong but God had to break my spirit before filling me with the Holy Spirit. There was no alternative for me to live without the Holy Spirit lifting me up to the heavens where I got a glimpse of holiness personally and firsthand. I can only praise Him. The sweet feeling of relaxing when I get deliverance through prayer and singing his praises. When I pray the Holy Spirit begins speaking in tongues through me. I am praying many times per day with my window open toward heaven and seeking God for direction. Repent, believe and be saved!